Tag Archives: random
I’ve had one too many posts about writing in a row, and I’m going to go crazy. Because there are other things. Awesome things. And… not so awesome things.
For instance, just yesterday I was minding my own business, driving on my monthly pilgrimage to DC, and I stopped in the gas station by King’s Dominion, as I usually do. I was in the mood for something to chew on, so I picked up a pack of gum. Little did I know what I had gotten myself into.
|It looked so innocent|
I just wanted something minty, and this had blue on the outside. I mean, cobalt, right? Who doesn’t like chewing on cobalt. What’s cobalt again? According to wikipedia, a ferromagnetic metal with a specific gravity of 8.9. Alright, tasty then. But it wasn’t the mildly beneficial trace metal that made this a fantastic find. For that, I had to wait until I flipped the packet over.
|Oh. Hell. Yes.|
That’s right – I didn’t pick up any pack of minty-flavored gum with a name that only makes sense if you know that cobalt was used to create blue colorings in glass and metal. I picked up a Limited Edition Design pack. It wasn’t the gum, it was the package. I was holding on to a rare collectors’ item, a regular Dale Chihuly piece found floating in the waters of Venice. I can say goodbye to student loans and say hello to my brand new palatial estate. This thing is going to sell for big bucks. You can’t find these just anywhere, and certainly not in that gas station right off I-95 at the exit for King’s Dominion. They probably only had just the one.
As if you needed any more evidence of how awesome this masterpiece of industrial design was, behold what I found when I opened the cover.
Behold the design.
Concentric. Circles. Do you see that? Did I just blow your mind? You can hear the gum speaking to you, exploding with flavor. It doesn’t matter whether or not the gum is any good. To be honest, I can’t bring myself to even try a piece. It would ruin the beauty of it all, the symmetry. This is gum as it was meant to be, gum so good we should all weep, for we will never again see its equal. Because this is Limited Edition. Greatness cannot be mass-produced, and so it is with Cobalt Limited Edition Design.
I’m going to spend the week basking in the beauty of this diamond in the rough before I sell it off to a wealthy collector. Richard Branson, I’ll be expecting your call. Thursday evening is best for me.